Why you always attract toxic people

When you keep going through chaos, trauma and heartbreak at the hands of toxic people, it can feel like you've been caught in an unfortunate loop with no explanation behind it.

But here is why toxic people keep targeting you...

1) No foundation 🫠

When you don't have a strong internal foundation, your need for happiness and validation comes from external factors (people and circumstances).

If you're looking for a person outside of you to make you happy, you are essentially looking for someone to take responsibility for your emotions (codependence).

This means that anybody who wants to control your emotions can. This gives toxic people the green light because other people's emotions are their playground.

This doesn't attract emotionally healthy individuals, because they draw their happiness from within and expect you to do the same. Then you can share in each other's joy TOGETHER (interdependence).

It is not healthy for any person to be entirely responsible for another person's happiness.

2) Poor boundaries 🚧

Toxic people choose their targets based on how their boundaries.

If you struggle to enforce your boundaries and passively allow others to ignore them, then unfortunately that makes you the perfect victim.

A person who cannot actively protect themselves is easy to manipulate. The toxic person can control their behaviour much easier, because there is no one there to resist or tell them 'no'.

You'll always come across toxic people, but how far you let them into your life is completely down to your relationship with boundaries.

3) Lacking discernment 😵‍💫

There is a distinct difference between the character and behavioural traits of toxic versus healthy people.

It is the inability to distinguish between the two that allows toxic people to slip through the cracks and embed themselves into your life.

Your discernment is SUPPOSED to prevent this from happening, but when you don't yet have enough understanding to identify intentions, you inadvertently invite toxic people, who thrive off your confusion, into your circle.

4) Ignoring intuition 🙈🙉🙊

Many times we get a certain feeling about people, even when we can't explain it.

Unfortunately, waiting to understand why you have a 'bad gut feeling' about someone BEFORE acting on it is often our downfall.

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