Balance and the battle of ego vs higher self

As you get older, more and more responsibilities get added on to your plate. You eventually get to a point where you understand that you, and you alone, are responsible for every decision in your life, and therefore you are responsible for every outcome as well.

Not everyone comes to this realisation at the same stage in their life, but it is a rite of passage as a human being.

In order to come to this realisation, you must identify that there are now two distinct parts of you: the parent and the child. Or your higher self and your ego.

There is a distinct mindset associated with each:

The child (ego) is impatient, emotional and impulsive. It has no regard for structure. It wants what it wants when it wants and it wants it now.

The parent (higher self) has the ability to think ahead. It can see past immediate desires and maintain perspective on future goals.

Although on the surface it may not seem like it, but both aspects are very important when we talk about growing and maintaining balanced lives as adults.

Both the ego and the higher self play a key role in your development.

Naturally, the higher self (parent) can delay gratification, suppress desires and plan for the future. This is great, especially when it comes to creating that foundation of discipline required for bigger goals.

The ego (child) can, more often than not, be an enemy to this process; HOWEVER, an important purpose it does serve is to remind you not to take things too seriously. The ego reminds you to really live and enjoy the moments you are given.

You see, if everything was purely led by the parent with no regard for the child, it would be a recipe for disaster!

It would breed resentment and make it more difficult to foster cooperation.

When you apply this to yourself as a singular person, you realise that abruptly enforcing discipline upon yourself is not a sustainable practice and can actually make it more challenging to adopt good habits.

On the flip side of things, letting the impulsive child (ego) completely take the reins is no better.

Could you imagine what that would look like?

Complete chaos, living like there is no tomorrow and constantly suffering the consequences of yesterday’s carelessness.

Your role, as the sole person responsible for living the life you were blessed with, is to navigate these two sides of you in a way that allows the controlled expression of both while you level up and grow.

As the parent of yourself, it is your responsibility to lead with love, understanding and care. You have to weigh up the immediate wants and needs of the child - which in this case is your ego – and find the best way forward that doesn’t compromise your progress.

The child (your ego) needs to learn that certain concessions must be made in the present in order to benefit in the future.

In the early stages of trying to introduce discipline, it may feel like a power struggle, but, as with children, it requires unwavering consistency and repetition.

In addition to these two ingredients, you also need to have a reward system in place.

I mean, who would want to cooperate with something they couldn’t benefit from?

The same applies to managing your ego.

Discipline is great, but in order for it to be sustained, you might need to give yourself a little incentive.

Sheer willpower is not always enough.

An incentive might be something as simple as scheduling in some downtime, where rather than listening to a motivational podcast, for instance, you can just watch a comedy show.

As long as the reward you’re giving yourself doesn’t inherently unravel any progress you’ve already made, then there’s nothing wrong with rewarding yourself every now and then as a reward for the discipline you’ve shown.

The theme here is: balance.

You don’t want to be so overly focused on discipline and future goals that you forget to live in the present.

And you don’t want to be so consumed with instant gratification that you completely lose sight of planning for the future.

It’s a constant ebb and flow, a give and take.

And remember, a balanced life looks different for different people. You have to study yourself and figure out what that looks like for you.

Once you have figured out what your version of a balanced life looks like, you can then begin to introduce steps to balancing your life.

No one gets it perfect, but having awareness and trying to maintain this balance is what gives you the advantage.

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