Your emotions, their toxicity

Toxic people are well-versed in manipulation.

One of the classic strategies they use, when they know they have your emotional investment, is to promise change while continuing to live in old patterns.

You’ll see this especially when you’re almost at your wit’s end – they’ll spring into action and show you that it is very possible for them to change and treat you better.

They put on an act long enough to lull you back into a false sense of security before they go right back to the toxicity and poor behaviour you used to accept.

Empty promises should never replace visible change, but they get away with this only because of your emotional attachment or, dare I say, your dependence on them.

Emotions are powerful. But unless they are governed by logic and higher intuition, they can cloud your judgement and leave your future self vulnerable to the red flags you choose to ignore.

It can be quite surprising when you finally manage to detach and reflect on the reality of your relationship.

Often, you’ll see that the quality of your relationship with them mostly depended on their ability to activate your imagination and create a false idea of who they are and their impact in your life.

Don’t get me wrong here, it is okay to be patient with a person and allow them time to make positive changes BUT this privilege must only be given to the right person. The right person is someone who has shown their willingness and capacity to do better. They are worth waiting for.

And unless someone has proven their worth to you in this way, there is absolutely nothing wrong with walking away guilt-free.

You are not responsible for anybody else’s growth.

Once you have communicated your expectations and dealbreakers, it is incumbent upon you to follow through with necessary consequences. This sets the tone for the dynamic of your relationship henceforth.

You have to think about long-term impact, not just fleeting emotional pleasure. You need to consider what the future of your relationship with this person will look like, how it will affect you and make informed decisions early on based on these considerations.

Nobody is perfect, but at the same time, you have to keep space in your life for what you deserve.

Keeping your heart open is good, but it is important to keep your eyes open and your head in the driver’s seat.

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