Who Can You Trust?

It is impossible to go through life without trusting ANYONE. But if you do trust people, that means you’re putting yourself in the position to be let down, disappointed and betrayed.

So what can you do about this? And who can you trust?

Well, you can’t hide from everyone. And you can’t completely avoid emotional pain.

If you’re closed off from people, you are operating from a fear-based mindset, which makes it difficult to navigate life.

Rather than seeing potential opportunities and blessings, you become filled with anxiety, wondering who is plotting your demise and trying to trick or sabotage you.

You have to give people the opportunity to be exactly who they are. Then, you need to trust yourself to handle those social dynamics accordingly and make the right decisions.

It’s all about having discernment.

Discernment allows you to see people for who they really are as early as possible and guides you when you need to draw others closer or set boundaries and move them out of your life.

If you have strong discernment, then there’s no need to shy away from choosing who to trust, because you know you can handle things no matter how they turn out.

You should be worried, however, if you’re someone who has a tendency to overlook and dismiss red flags in others.

THIS is what makes you the most vulnerable to getting hurt.

Ignoring red flags leads to people-pleasing and a lack of boundaries. In essence, you deactivate your discerning capabilities and likely end up placing your trust in individuals who don’t deserve it.

What you have to do is find the delicate balance between being open and flexible with people without switching off your discernment.

Doing so allows others the opportunity to prove themselves, while giving you the opportunity to assess their intentions and trust in your own judgement.

There are different ways that you can build your discernment:

1)   Pay attention to others

In social settings it can be easy to get caught up in trying to portray yourself in a certain way, saying and doing the ‘right’ things. So much so that we often forget that while others are assessing us, we should also be assessing them.

You should be paying attention to what they do, how they talk about themselves, how they talk about others, how they treat you and those around them.

2)   Spend time alone

As important as it is to interact with other to build discernment, it is equally important to spend time alone to reflect and detox from social interactions.

This helps to clear your mind and evaluate people in a place free from immediate social pressures. In the quiet of your mind, you can retrospectively pick up on any patterns of behaviour that resemble green or red flags.

Again, it’s all about balance.

The better you get at assessing people, the more you build trust in yourself and your judgement.

Remember: the quality of the people in your circle will only match the strength of your discernment.

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Ready to work on building your relationships? Use the bespoke Relationship Assessment tool on page 76 of the Transformation Journal to get started 😉

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