How do you build resilience?

Some people believe that resilience depends on the type of person you are by nature and that is the sole determining factor that dictates how you handle life.

While this may be true, it’s a reductionist outlook that perhaps leads us to believe that our capacity to bounce back from life’s challenges is limited, which sets you up for failure long before these challenges even arise.

One way that you can build your resilience and increase your capacity to handle difficulty is through practising daily discipline.

This is the act of voluntarily putting yourself through discomfort in order to build your tolerance for suffering.

But no one wants to suffer, so why would you do this?

The fact is: struggle is inevitable. No one can avoid it.

It is up to you whether you choose to struggle now or later.

That is your choice.

Those who continuously avoid struggle atrophy their resilience muscles by doing so. They are inhibiting their own ability to cope in the future.

On the other hand, those who practise daily discipline – which is just struggle on a small, controlled scale – will have a greater ability to cope with difficulty, because they are accustomed to choosing the difficult path already.

For example, a person who includes intermittent fasting as a part of their lifestyle will find it easier to cope with a food shortage than someone who frequently overeats and cannot last a few waking hours without food on a good day.

The idea of disciplining yourself on a daily basis is not about punishment, although it can feel like that in the early stages. It is about training yourself for what life may throw at you.

We all know that life is unpredictable. No matter how great you are at planning, life is great at dishing out the one obstacle you weren’t expecting.

The closest way you can ‘expect the unexpected’ is by training your resilience muscles.

You wouldn’t be expected to wake up and run a marathon without any training.

You would have to put yourself through months and years of gruelling training, running mini marathons and eating the right things in order to be prepared.

And even after ALL of that preparation, actually running the marathon will still be incredibly difficult.

The same goes for training yourself for life in general. Daily discipline doesn’t necessarily make it hurt less when you go through suffering, but it does ensure that you have the tools to get through it and emerge wiser and stronger individual.

Unfortunately, true discipline is a rare quality. We may exercise discipline on a small scale here and there, but it’s often still just enough to keep us comfortable.

Be honest with yourself, do the hard thing and keep doing it until it becomes a part of your lifestyle. Then do the next hard thing, hold yourself accountable and keep doing it until that becomes a part of your lifestyle as well.

This is stability.

The more stability you have in your daily life, the easier it will be to bounce back to a high functioning level of normal when life shakes your foundation a little.

In addition to daily discipline, it is important to practise mental rehearsal. Mental preparation is what gives you an advantage in dire situations.

If you’ve never once even considered the idea that you may not always have access to the luxuries you currently enjoy, then it won’t take much to completely turn your life upside down.

It may seem silly, but occasionally pondering different scenarios can make you that much more prepared for any surprises.

Don’t underestimate the power of this practice.

The mind is a powerful thing.

Even contemplating a scenario in passing can save you from freaking out.

It can be the difference between an irrational reaction that worsens a situation versus a logical response that still keeps you grounded.

Mental rehearsal quietly builds your confidence in your ability to handle situations with calmness.

Ultimately, these practices grow your resilience incrementally and after years of consistency, your future self will be able to handle life from a place of wisdom and competence.

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