Do you know how to suffer?

There is no one I respect more in this world than a person who knows how to suffer.

Sure, everyone goes through their own trials and tribulations, but not everyone is skilled at surviving them.

What do I mean?

You know those individuals who can’t get through a bad day without making everybody else’s day worse? Those people who must make the world feel their wrath for going through a bad season?

Those individuals have no idea HOW to struggle.

They allow temporary challenges to become their entire personality, until life eases up on them; then they go right back to being their usual self (whoever that is).

The character traits they share leave much to be desired:

They’re quite likely to be disloyal, jumping ship or throwing other under the bus in order to save themselves.

They might emotionally burden others, not considering whether they might benefit from being extended the same courtesy.

Their short temper may cause others to walk on eggshells, for fear of an intense outburst.

People like this may pride themselves on being able to last through tough times, but this is a far cry from what I would describe as resilience.

Resilience is about being able to navigate the stresses of life while preserving your character and integrity.

But if every time life applies a little pressure, you take it out on everyone else around you, that’s not resilience, that’s misplaced aggression masking an inability to cope.

I always say that a person who responds to challenges by becoming a different person hasn’t gone through enough struggles in life.

They are yet to come to the realisation that the strongest thing they can do is surrender, accept the circumstances and lean more on their internal foundation, not devolve into a horrid person and force others to bend around their misery.

I have an automatic respect for individuals who can deal with pressure without letting it change them or negatively affect those around them.

They have been through enough in life to build a character of steel. They are inherently loyal to themselves and those they have chosen to surround themselves with. They have the emotional capacity to still support their friends and family while they figure out their own situation. They can still maintain a positive outlook even if things don’t seem to be in their favour at that moment.

These individuals are mentally flexible and have an incredibly strong resolve.

Almost nothing can make their countenance drop.

I don’t knock people who haven’t quite developed their character as much as this, because we’re all on our own journey of discovery; but I do think that we should all aspire to do better, even in the face of hardship.

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