Who controls your peace?

Have you ever worked for someone who just has no chill?

There is just no pleasing this person.

You could have the best performance out of all of your colleagues and they’ll still complain about something. And if there’s nothing to complain about...they’ll still manage to find something anyway.

For your sake, I hope you never have and never will work for someone like this, but I fear that maybe more than a few of us can relate.

The problem with keeping people like this in our lives (not necessarily just employers) is that they set up a horribly unhealthy dynamic for EVERYONE.

They expect others to walk on eggshells and constantly behave in a way that pleases them, otherwise they’ll shout, belittle and humiliate them. Or to put it honestly: they’ll have an adult tantrum 🙄.

It may make them feel powerful, but they fail to realise that by behaving like a grown toddler, they are literally giving away ALL of their power.

Whole-heartedly relying on others to pander to their needs, means that this person’s mood, peace and internal state is entirely hinged upon how others feel and behave.

They never stop to question how unfair it is to expect others to ignore their happiness and bend to someone else’s comfort when that is not something they would ever be willing to reciprocate!

They believe their peace matters more.

Despite this, I do find it quite fascinating that even though this person has many individuals sacrificing their own peace for their benefit, this same person who takes, takes and takes from others never actually seems to achieve this peace and happiness that they constantly demand.

As narcissistic and toxic as this behaviour is, it actually teaches us an invaluable lesson: we are each responsible for our own peace.

Our ability to be calm on the inside should not be determined by others living up to our expectations of them.

High expectations of others often leads to disappointment, because we do not have control over anybody else but ourselves.

It is completely unfair for anyone to be responsible for another person’s peace of mind, when we each have our own to maintain.

Rather than trying to force others to please us, we should focusing on learning how to regulate our own emotions.

Being emotionally in control of oneself is much less exhausting than being reactive to every single thing that fails to meet your expectations.

Once you reclaim your power in this way, you are actually also teaching others to do the same.

When you take full responsibility for your internal environment – and no one else’s – they are forced to also be responsible for their own inner peace, because you have shown them that the keys to peace can only be found inside.

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