The Toxic Quadrant™ - 4 Types of Toxic People You May Know

Although they share certain behavioural characteristics, not all toxic people are the same...

What is a toxic person?

My personal definition of a toxic person is someone who typically acts in their own immediate best interest to the detriment of others.

They may not necessarily be diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD), but they likely have many narcissistic tendencies.

The Toxic Quadrant™

The characteristics of a toxic person are dependent on their level of awareness about their behaviour - particularly it's effect on those around them - AND their willingness to improve.

Using these parameters, I have separated toxic people into 4 categories with what I call the Toxic Quadrant™:

Toxic Person A

Toxic Person A is well aware of their own toxicity, yet their willingness to improve is non-existent.

It's likely that they've observed how consistently their behaviour had led to them getting exactly what they want, so they don't feel there's any incentive to making changes to themselves.

As far as they're concerned, changing will just make like more difficult to navigate. It would cause them to lose the power and control they would have over people and certain situations.

In my opinion, these toxic people are very short-term thinkers.

They don't consider the reality that we all reach a point in life where we become vulnerable and need the genuine assistance from others in order to survive.

This is why it can be impossible, if not extremely difficult, for people like this to change.

You can almost certainly guarantee that they won't make any real, permanent, positive change because of encouragement from a person - that's just not going to happen.

If they do make any changes it will likely be as a result of hitting rock bottom (e.g. losing everything, their family, their reputation, their possessions etc).

And even then, some of these individuals still won't change, or they'll resort back to exactly who they were before as soon as things start looking up again.

*My advice: steer clear! This one is a black hole that will swallow you alive.

Toxic Person B

Toxic Person B is a person who is becoming aware of their own past and current toxicity, and is motivated to follow a more progressive path, as a result.

They have probably realised how destructive their behaviour is towards others AND themselves.

Their eyes have been open to their toxicity and, because they have a conscience, they cannot unseen it.

This realisation catalyses their journey of healing and self-discovery, where they unpack and overcome the trauma and dysfunction that have become ingrained within them.

Because of this motivation to no longer be a toxic person, they are willing to put in the hard work required to become more authentic.

This transition inevitably comes with a lot of shame and guilt, but they don't see any other option but to make improvements.

*My advice: If you can, support and work with this person. They may be toxic right now, but they WANT to grow. A little support will go a long way with them.

Toxic Person C

Toxic Person C is unaware of how their toxic traits impact their own life as well as others, therefore they cannot change.

It is likely that they're stuck in dysfunctional patterns and won't even consider the idea that they could be a part of the problem.

They see evidence of chaos in their life, but they either believe that life just keeps happening to them or that it's because of other people.

They believe that they are a victim and that there's no way out of the turmoil they're in.

This person is likely very resistant to making any behavioural change, but they just need a wake up call and some honest self-reflection.

What would motivate this type of person to change is probably a situation (or several situations) that highlight how their behaviour alone has caused or worsened the outcome.

*My advice: IF you think they are worth it and you have the capacity, be patient and gently guide them to see reality.

Toxic Person D

Toxic Person D is someone desperate to change something in their life but is unaware of their own toxicity.

They likely can see chaos throughout their life, but lack the awareness to see how much they contribute to this chaos.

Because their type of toxic behaviour has been modelled to them by family and peers for so long, they struggle to see the harm in what they do.

They're already in a mental space, where they're ready to put in some work, so once they become aware that they are the cause of some of their life's chaos, they'll be ready and willing to make improvements.

My advice: If you can, support this person by helping to increase their self-awareness. They may be toxic right now, but they can't grow unless they know they are in their own way.

Maybe you opening their eyes will help them much more than you think.

So why does it matter? Why bother making a distinction between the different types of toxic people?

Toxic people are still people, and I believe that we all have the capacity for long-lasting, positive change.

We're all at different stages of our personal development journey, we all have a story and we all have our own burdens to bear. It's just that we all handle things differently.

Being an authentic person doesn't mean that you have never been toxic; and being toxic does not mean that you cannot become authentic.

But if you are working towards being authentic, it is important to understand the psychology of toxic individuals so that you know how to navigate them in a way that won't lead you off your path.

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Before you EVER decide to help anybody on this list, you must FIRST ensure that you have sufficient mental and emotional capacity for yourself while supporting them AND believe wholeheartedly that they are worth the investment.

Supporting them won't be easy, so don't lose yourself trying to do so.

If you DON'T see the value in supporting them, then there's no harm in making that choice either, especially if helping them would mean neglecting yourself.

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