Is your comfort zone really the enemy?

I hear a lot of people advise others to step out of their comfort zone.

They talk about it as if it is the number one enemy of progress, but you have to take this advice with a pinch of salt.

It is unrealistic for us to avoid our comfort zone as much as we’re being encouraged to.

So before you decide to thrust yourself out of your comfort zone and leap into the realm of the unknown, you must define exactly what comfort is for you.

You don’t need to abandon everything that brings you peace, but you do need to hold yourself accountable and differentiate between when your comfort zone is a source of necessary peace and safety, versus when you’re using it as an excuse to avoid responsibility.

Mastering this about yourself is incredibly necessary when you are trying to deepen your understanding of self.

Your comfort zone is not inherently negative, but it is how you choose to navigate it that can hold you back.

When you use it to hide from situations that could allow you to grow and develop as a person, you trap yourself and limit your own potential.

At the other extreme, blindly stepping out of your comfort zone without having clear intentions and reasons for doing so can also be detrimental.

This is because you are operating without the protection of structure or a conscious foundation. This type of uncertainty is destabilising and you are likely to learn very little from such experiences.

I’ll use myself as an example here:

By nature, I am a reserved person – I enjoy my own company a lot.

Knowing this about myself from an early age, I pushed myself (with support, of course) to participate in more “extroverted” activities at school, such as joining school clubs, putting on musical performances, giving presentations in assemblies, delivering workshops etc.

These activities were out of my comfort zone, but through my participation, the intention was to build my confidence, social skills and overall competence.

Over the years I have found many ways to push myself more and more to prove to myself, above all, that I have the courage and ability to do anything I set my mind to.

Because I put in this work at a younger age, I no longer need to prove to myself – or anyone else, for that matter – that I can do what makes me uncomfortable.

I have given myself enough evidence to have unwavering confidence in my own ability to navigate different aspects of life.

This allows me to rest in my own comfort zone unapologetically, knowing that when I do have to step out of it, I can rise to the challenge without a second thought.

I don’t judge myself by society’s standards.

I know myself well enough to not allow external expectations and pressures to blur my perception of myself.

I have non-negotiables that will ALWAYS remain a valued part of my comfort zone.

Certain aspects of your comfort zone are supposed to serve as your protection.

For example, if disrespect makes you feel uncomfortable then you absolutely do not have to force yourself to maintain relationships in which you are not respected in order to ‘build your conflict resolution skills’. I’m sure there are safe spaces in which you can build those skills without feeling like you are under attack or scrutiny.

A baseline level of comfort is paramount to guarantee you internal peace and to keep you grounded.

It can even help you to identify what your values are and learn more about your true self.

THAT is the purpose of your comfort zone: to navigate life with a clear foundation and guide you back to your inner self.

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