The Power of Communication

When it comes to developing our intrinsic power, there are many ways to channel it.

Communication is one of the biggest ways in which you can channel your power. However, the degree to which your communication is effective mostly depends on your own mindset.

When you communicate, what exactly is your aim?

Is it to build understanding between you and the other person?

Is it to maintain your image and reputation?

Is it to dominate and seem smarter?

If you have a “me versus you” mindset, where you prioritise “winning” an argument rather than truly seeking a solution and building with the person, it is more than likely that your communication will actually inhibit your power as opposed to amplifying it.

For instance, an aggressive communicator lacks the emotional maturity to work with others effectively. This immediately puts them at a deficit, because they are prioritising their own needs above the needs of the partnership or team they are supposed to be a part of. They are missing out on the opportunity to join forces and work together.

Because of their self-serving mindset, they rarely allow others to feel heard, which again breaks down relationships and depletes the power of the collective.

If they had the bigger picture in mind, they would understand that how they communicate is actually counterproductive in achieving the goal they wish to achieve.

Nobody wants to grow with someone who does not have enough discipline or intrinsic power to see past their own immediate desires.

A passive-aggressive communicator reaps similar results, because they don’t clearly express themselves. Their tendency to disagree may show up in subtle ways, such as a lack of cooperation or unhelpfully sarcastic commentary, but they won’t contribute constructively.

This could be within the context of any setting or relationship. It could be a romantic relationship in a private setting or even a professional relationship in a public setting. This type of communicator cannot appropriately channel their power, so they resort to indirect and emotionally immature means of communicating. This diminishes their power by wasting time, creating obscurity, tension and isolation.

Arguably worse is the mindset of a passive communicator, whose priority is to “goes with the flow” and “keeps the peace”. They completely give away their power by not expressing themselves truthfully and placing the full responsibility of effective communication on others.

The mindset that best channels intrinsic power is that of an assertive communicator. They prioritise building with others by keeping both their needs and the needs of the collective at the forefront of their mind. They have the emotional maturity to work as a team and make the most out of the collective power. Rather than focusing on just getting their way, they want to lead, inspire and work together for a cause greater than themselves.

This makes the best use of their intrinsic power, as their focus is on a positive end goal AND they use their understanding of self as well as others to enhance and combine each person’s individual power.

You see, when you communicate one of the most important things for you to do is to make your intentions clear to others. Establish what your goal is. If your aim is to build a deeper relationship with somebody, then let that be known. If you would just like to establish boundaries for a cordial, professional relationship, then say that.

Doing so gives others the opportunity to understand you and it keeps everybody on the same page, regardless of the type of communicator you are dealing with. From there, you can then observe the other person and evaluate their mindset when it comes to communication.

As an example:

If you have made it clear to your work colleague what you need from them in order to get things done efficiently as a team and they verbally agree, yet refuse to take action, they have shown that they are a passive aggressive communicator.

This doesn’t mean that you have to respond to them at their level of immaturity. What it does mean is that you now know exactly how to navigate your work relationship moving forward. You know that you cannot trust their words and that they are unlikely to give you clarity or work with you willingly.

As such, you can continue with your own assertive way of communicating, except you may decide to take certain measures when it comes to this person.

This may involve now sending an email recap after every work discussion you have with this particular colleague to ensure there is a clear trail of communication for future reference.

As the assertive communicator in this scenario, who wishes to work with the team as best as possible, you will do what is necessary to work around this person’s indirect means of communication and prioritise the ultimate goal of the team.

This is just one example of how you can actually use your discernment to identify how others communicate and use your power in an effective way to accomplish the goal you have in mind.

The quicker you are able to discern the mindset of other communicators, the better. It allows you to adjust accordingly so that you don’t end up unnecessarily wasting your time or energy.

Communication should really be about building bridges, but if you come across someone who does not share that same understanding, then you have to protect yourself and redirect your power.

If you want to understand more about the different types of communicators, how to identify them and navigate them within the context of various contexts, check out page 113 of the “Relationships” Chapter in the Original Volume.

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